Wednesday, May 19, 2004

The Blue Dick dance number

I forgot to bring along my hairbrush for the trip, and thus for over a week, me mop was reminiscent of a brillo pad. Luckily, they don’t pay me for my looks so it was all good.

It was a very good trip, definitely a huge improvement from last trip’s near disaster. The kind that makes me go, “wow! I can’t believe they are paying me to do this….” Childhood dream come true and all that jazz.. but of course, it’s always so good to be home once again.

During my free time, I practiced my side stroke in the nude, in this wonderful oasis of water. That was a lot of fun. I can’t remember the last time I did the side stroke. A plus about skinny dipping is that one gets an even tan. But one has to plan one’s nudie escapades with great care, because this ain’t all for free, pal.

Here’s a worthy endorsement to read Margaret Atwood’s Oryx and Crake (excellent, by the way – get your own copy now!):

Sex according to the world of Oryx and Crake.

“There’ll be the standard quintuplet, four men and the woman in heat. Her condition will be obvious to all from the bright-blue colour of her buttocks and abdomen…..

Since it’s only the blue tissue and the pheromones released by it that stimulate the males, there’s no more unrequited love these days, no more thwarted lust; no more shadow between the desire and the act. Courtship begins at the first whiff, the first faint blush of azure, with the males presenting flowers to the females…

Their penises turn bright blue to match the blue abdomens of the females, and they do a sort of blue-dick dance number, erect members waving to and fro in unison, in time to the foot movements and the singing…

From amongst the floral tributes the female chooses four flowers, and the sexual ardour of the unsuccessful candidates dissipates immediately, with no hard feelings left. Then, when the blue of her abdomen has reached its deepest shade, the female and her quartet find a secluded spot and go at it until the woman becomes pregnant and her blue colouring fades. And that is that.”

Call me a prude but I think I prefer how things are at the moment with Homo sapiens. Anyway, the chase is often the most interesting part of the relationship, sometimes. No more unrequited love or thwarted lust? Then what would happen to country or pop music or the American Idol? Pshaww!! This cannot be.

Note to self: skip azure coloured panties.


At 12:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It would certainly take all the wind out of the sails of 80% of the weblogs I read too.

Dr. Dave (

At 4:34 PM, Blogger Froot said...

I'd rather have normal sex, thankyouverymuch.


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