Wednesday, May 26, 2004

It's not melodrama when there are no tears shed

My ex just told me that he’s getting married – and that he wanted me to be the first to know (ahhh… perks of being an ex!! *sarcasm*).

I was sooo not surprised.. but maybe at the timing, I guess.

I think we were both waiting for my reaction – that I would be upset, perhaps. But I wasn’t. I mean, well, this is what he wants – I want him to be happy and you know what, he does look happy. But I think I was rather stunned at how fast it all seemed to be.. I mean it was just last year after all…

Sigh..

When he told me that he wanted to tell me something, I knew it had to be that.. At first, I thought that he was pregnant (well, you know what I mean) but he’s not, yet I guess.

I don’t know.. it’s a weird feeling. I’m inspecting my feelings but other than the surprise, I don’t feel unhappy. I’ve already accepted that it’s over, completely.

I appreciate the fact that he told me personally and that I am the first to know. I think, well, it’s just decent to do so than to just hand me my invitation card (the invites aren’t ready yet).

It’s weird yet I think part of me feels left behind. Like he’s going to start a new life and I’m still doing the same-o, lame-o. It’s not that I want to get married now but I am beginning to wonder where I am at this stage of my life.

Feeling very ambivalent right now. I want a hug.

8 Comments:

At 6:00 PM, Blogger ordinarylife said...

It's good that you remained friends with your ex. That's not always possible. If I were you, I'd be flattered to be the first to know about the wedding. I would reflect on it a bit, but only a bit, and wish him a happy life.

 
At 10:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ordinarylife: thanks for leaving a comment - comments cheer me up! Yeah, in retrospect, I do feel thankful that he decided to let me know first before anyone else.

 
At 11:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

*HUG*
You'll be OK. I know so.

 
At 11:11 PM, Blogger Cayce said...

Thank you mysterious person! ;-)

 
At 6:22 PM, Blogger Marita Paige said...

You might be doing same-o but it's not lame-o. You know that full well. Besides, look what 'new' start he's getting into. I'm feeling extra generous so I give him 5 years, 8 tops. Buy me a coffee when it happens. Mean? Maybe? It's just my honest opinion.

 
At 12:08 PM, Blogger Daniel said...

Hi Cayce, sending a long distance mental hug! And, if it's only going to last 5 - 8 years, probably a good thing to be left behind on...

My question is: What there an air, just the slightest air, of "ha ha!" about his telling you first?

 
At 10:35 AM, Blogger bayibhyap said...

The funny thing about past relationships is that they are always an integral part of you no matter how you think you have let that part of you buried away. And they return to you with vivid memories when your ex turns up with shocking news like this. You are momentarily caught offguard and somewhat confused and all kinds of memories flood your mind. You want to be alone to think. What if...

Anyway, be strong. Yep, you have a zest for life that will carry you through. *hug* *hug*

No doubt about.

 
At 7:27 AM, Blogger zeeyen said...

But no matter what, I just do not understand why your ex would want to tell it first to you?

 

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