Sunday, October 03, 2004

It's in my pants!

I love my mom dearly. I’m grateful for the fact that we don’t have a stereotypical Asian mother-daughter relationship where she tells me that I’m fat, and/or ugly, and nags me for not being married at my age. She (along with my dad) has a great sense of humour and I love spending time with her. She’s small but she’s feisty, and I do feel very protective of her.

So with all this in mind, I was appalled when I found myself ready to flee at her time of need.

We were on the road today when she yelped out of the blue, and wriggled her bum.

“No yelling while I’m driving!” I yelped in return, swerving back to my lane.

“Something’s poking me!” she replied indignantly, as she tried to twist around to see what was on the car seat.

But there was nothing there. Slightly confused, my mom sat back while I continued driving.

Less than three minutes later, she screamed and jumped.

“Something’s BITING me!”

Startled out of my wits, I immediately pulled over the curb and we stared at the empty seat.

“IT’S IN MY PANTS!!!!!!”

Sure enough, as she twisted around in panic, posterior in full view, there was a mysterious lump on her left cheek.

And so she’s screaming, and her face’s all red, and she’s wriggling out of her pants as fast as she could get out of them. And I’m in shocked silence and I’m also panicking because I knew what it was and if there is something that could make me jump and scream like the girliest girl, this would be it.

Peeking out from the flung pants on the floor, was the skankiest gecko. And then I screamed because I hate geckos with a passion – it’s a childhood fear. I also suddenly noticed that I have the car door opened, like I’m staging a getaway. Something’s attacking my mom and my first instinct is to run away. Someone give me the World’s Best Daughter of the Year award.

“Well,” my mom said in breaths and gulps, “It’s gone now.”


“Yes, but it’s not in my pants anymore,” said my mom firmly, as she wriggled her way back in the pants.

I had voted for driving back home, but she insisted on continuing on. I spent the entire time driving nervously, jumping whenever I felt (or rather, imagined) something on me. It was such a relief to finally get home in one piece.

So I don’t know whether it’s still in the car or not. I attempted to open all the car doors to help it find its way out but my mom freaked and said that something bigger might crawl in. And that freaked me enough to close all the doors and windows. In our place, “something bigger” is always possible.

A gecko’s bad enough but I think I’d have a heart attack if I discover a monitor lizard in the car.

I know, I know, some biologist am I. But wildlife has its place, and it ain’t gonna be my car.

Any ideas on how to get rid of a gecko?


At 10:21 AM, Blogger Marita Paige said...

Cayce, you're a true friend. You know how I hate geckos too. So in honour of your scaly adventure, I give you this: gecko sutra

At 4:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can't say I can help you with this Miss Cayce.

I mean, when still a young boy and growing up in Bahagian kedua, I saw my dad calmly disposed of visiting brown cobras and the odd black one with his trusty shotgun. (I vividly learnt how elastic snake meat was after this, especially when recently dismembered, later in life, whilst studying in biology lessons, I learnt the term "reflex action")

I can vividly remember attacking a very scared Monitor lizard with a red water pipe,.....using homemade metal slingshots against stray dogs (remember those small cute plastic ballbearings children played with),..... and setting Rat traps (when caught, drowning them was an option), but I can't recommend a decent way to get rid of that stubborn gecko in your car.

When it comes to wildlife, I guess it's better to have the common gecko in there then 2 scorpions. I'm guessing this lizard has an appetite for insects, and other creepy crawlies, so it must be a plus, a lesser evil. It's probably finished what it's had to do, but if I was still in Kuching, I would never deny help to a damsel in distress. I'd go round to your place and get rid of the damn gecko myself !

Hope everything is ok and I wish you well (dunno bout the gecko, maybe it wants to make friends)



At 5:39 PM, Blogger Little Dee said...

i am kinda relieved it was just a gecko..... that said, i think i will be running the opposite direction as well! kinda reminds me of the time when my parents asked their gecko challenged daughter to help them lift the bed to chase a gecko......... hmmmm the issues i had with that! mind you i am amazed how calm your mum was when she discovered that it was a gecko!

At 3:11 PM, Blogger Cayce said...

marita: one word: YUCK

SP: your comment files under: "you know you're sarawakian when the majority of your childhood memories includes killing reptiles". hmmm...

dee: well, i wouldn't say that she was that calm. i mean, she was calmer after she got the lizard out of her pants. comparatively, lizard in car ain't so bad to lizard in pants.

At 10:59 PM, Blogger Daniel said...

Strange... I remember your mother being quite deadpan when I discovered a gecko waiting in my pants (and I mean English "pants" here, not trousers). She just commented, "At least it wasn't a snake".

The dangers of staying in a Sarawakian house I suppose...

At 9:17 AM, Blogger Cayce said...

ha ha haa!!.. I remember that. Well, i guess it's easier to be deadpan when the gecko is in someone else's pants (american or british terms).


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