Thursday, December 16, 2004

Kicking the cat

I try to keep in mind often, an analogy on how negativity breeds negativity:

Think of an office setting where a manager unfairly barks at his secretary, his secretary then takes her frustration out on the office boy, and the office boy kicks the cat.

There are many variations of this in real life of course. Whenever I'm confronted with someone else's negativity towards me, I think to myself, "...and the office boy kicked the cat". It's a useful way to remind myself that people often unwittingly bring their own woes to their communication with you. It's not always about you; it's them with their own problems. So no point kicking the cat (because it'd probably turn around and scratch you anyway).

I'm not immune to kicking the cat however but I do apologize immediately and let them know that it's me, not them.

Negativity breeds negativity - the world doesn't need another snarky person.

I've mentioned this site before, and I'd like to do it again because she brings (almost) daily inspiration on how people should recognize the joy in their lives, and not focus on negativity all the time - after all, we all have our own share of troubles, it's how we deal with it that defines us as a person: Superhero Journal.

In her latest entry, she talks about excessively apologizing and how it can be disempowering. I'm trying not to apologize for a week but it's more difficult than I thought. Marita wants 50 cents for every 'sorry' I utter. It's crazy, I even apologize to the furniture that I've bumped into. I often apologize for something that's not even my fault or rather, something I shouldn't feel sorry for. But I do anyways. Still trying out the experiment though. After all, I also keep in mind what Dan once told me: I shouldn't say "I always do this" (for something that's negative/wrong). It's disempowering and places a mental barrier of what I can do.

I am excited about a lot of cool, happening things in my life, and the lives of my loved ones (including friends). There is so much joy to be shared, and tis the season to be joyful, eh?

6 Comments:

At 3:36 PM, Blogger Marita Paige said...

So where's my nine hundred eighty eight ringgit and fifty sen then? Gimme gimme. By Christmas would be nice.

 
At 3:38 PM, Blogger Cayce said...

SORRY - no money. ha haa

 
At 4:06 PM, Blogger Dee M said...

Hey,one of my girlfriends do that too!Says sorry all the time that we call her Ms Sorry.Hehehe.

Seasons Greetings!

 
At 4:29 PM, Blogger Cayce said...

Is her second name Cayce? ha.. I just knocked down my headphones and apologized to it. *adds 50 sen to the piggy bank*

 
At 12:31 AM, Blogger Bertha said...

I seem to recall a joke somewhere about how apologising to everything, including furniture is a Canadian thing. ;)

It's also a matter of perspective. Everyone have different experiences in their lives and snarkiness is a way of self-preservation. It's nothing personal. Just as different people have different ways of dealing with problems in their lives - the whole one person's meat is another's poison kind of thing.

Again, back to the perspective thing - it's useful to take a step back, open one's eyes and tell oneself that the world doesn't revolve around you. I tell myself that all the time. *shrug*

 
At 12:06 PM, Blogger Chet said...

Dang, this is what I get for not visiting your blog more often. I should've read this earlier! Last Friday, the negativity charge in the office was SO SO ... 242%.

*sigh*

 

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