Tuesday, December 28, 2004

what am i doing?

The earthquake and resulting tsunamis are affecting me more than I had thought. The thousands, and thousands of deaths, most of them children. Why does it always take a world disaster to put things into perspective? My heart goes out to all those affected, and I know that I should take this time to appreciate what I have now, and loved ones I have around me. But at the same time, I think, wow, we only have so little time on this earth, so what am I doing here?

It's quite strange - I do know that I am in the right place right now, doing what I am meant to do, but at the same time, I want more.

I was just thinking about next year, and a conversation I had with someone. I know I have so much on my plate right now, especially once I go back into the full swing of fieldwork but I was just thinking about volunteering my time at a children's shelter, like Salvation Army. Some churches offer tuition to the disadvantaged kids, and I've talked to someone about it and he says that you don't have to be a member of the church to help out. I am already volunteering for another ngo but I feel like I could do more for the community.

And then there's this urge to travel. Maybe in hindsight, meeting all these travellers is not good for me because I just end up so restless, wanting to do the same thing and see more of the world.

Although I do appreciate every single traveller that I've met along the way - it seems like each and everyone of them has given me something meaningful , even if it may just be a gift of a great conversation. They inspire me to take risks, and at the same time, appreciate my hometown, when I see it in their eyes.

Lets has been a great guest. She taught me how to make spanish tortillas last night - yummy! It's just a simple dish of onions, potatoes and eggs but the resulting dish was a delight. Or maybe I'm just easy to please.

Last Sunday, we were unaware of the turmoil happening quite close to home. We went to Semenggok but it was fruiting season so the orang utans would not come out for the touristy feeding time. I was really pleased when Lets said that while she was disappointed that she didn't see any orangutans, she felt much happier with the knowledge that they were off in on their own in the jungle, feeding themselves.

We later went on a long, scenic Sunday drive. I know it's not environmentally-friendly but I do like these meandering drives, the kind with no purpose and no real destination. We would slow down whenever we saw rice-paddies or valleys (or in my case, birds). It really is beautiful out here. Funny how I sometimes need someone else to make me appreciate what I have here. It would be so much better to do the route on a bike, though (I need an activity partner). I later introduced her to a drink made out of coconut and sugar cane (although she said that she had something like that in Thailand), and then we strolled down the waterfront. Dinner was at a Vietnamese restaurant where we had braised(?) duck. We only ordered 1/2 a duck but there was so much of it. The best part was making the rolls yourselves out of duck meat, cucumbers and I forget what the other ingredient was.

I know I would really miss her when she goes - she's become a really good friend.

Right, I'm itching to make more travel plans, like very very soon..


Post a Comment

<< Home