Monday, June 27, 2005

Romantic optimism

After all that whirlwind of sudden clarity, acceptance and release, I find myself sitting in front of my notebook computer with feelings of bittersweet nostalgia. Of what it was like to be loved (romantically) and love. To care so much about the person that their achievements feel like yours, and their disappointments, heart-breaking. For sure, I feel that about my family and closest friends but there is something about a significant other that fulfills the rest of desires that the other people in your life can't. The word, 'desire' seems a bit wrong, even rather selfish. I am stumbling to find the right word. I don't really want to say, "completes me" (hello 'I-don't-believe-in-psychiatry' Tom) because you are supposed to be your own person, on your own two feet. And I've grown into my own, especially during the last couple of years.

There's this guy I know who has a dating MO: he gets to know the girl really intimately, pays her lots of attention and once he's confirmed that she's fallen for him, he dates her for a while only to get bored and dumps her completely. He gets irritated when they contact him afterwards. Repeats cycle with new girl.

It's a harsh lesson but sometimes, you are just the 'skirt'.

But somewhere out there, there's a guy who's willing to treat me more than just a skirt. And he's searching for me now (I admit, I'm a romantic!!). Well, I'd see where this path I've chosen would lead me. If it's meant to be...


At 11:15 PM, Blogger Froot said...

I'm glad to see that you're keeping a positive attitude about the whole thing. Though I wish you didn't have to go through that with S, I suppose it can only make you stronger. *hugs*

At 12:30 AM, Blogger torment said...

Oh thank god there're still people like you. these days so many youngsters are already "jaded" and "cynical" and they've not even explored what life has to offer. You maintain a hope even after stormy experiences, a hope that this world could use more of. Keep on being you. :)

At 3:02 AM, Blogger Eduardo said...

There is more than one.

Imagine if there was "one". Imagine the odds of finding that one in all the billions of people on planet earth. Imagine that person even residing in a sphere of operations that will intersect your own. Not good.

There are several.

The danger in limiting yourself to one is unconsciously thinking that you'd best be about finding him and quick. I think "the one" lends itself to dangerous thinking like... "this fellow is so close I might as well take him and ignore all of these unsettling things that I don't like."

There are many.

Perhaps you are a very rare soul that is only romantically, sexually, spiritually, genetically, friendshipally (???) compatible with one in ten thousand people -- and that would be rare indeed. You would still be left with 650,000 souls out there that could be blissfully partnered with yours.

Of course you'll find one of him. Heck you'll bump into three or four on the bus before the year is over.

The moral is *not* to be more open to relationships with people you meet on public transit systems... or maybe it is.

At 3:05 AM, Blogger Eduardo said...

But who can deny that its nicer to imagine him actively looking for you (not one of 650,000 of you, but actually you) even now. *grin*

At 7:57 AM, Blogger Jordan F. MacVay said...

A big hug for you. You certainly seem to have the right attitude. :)

At 9:57 AM, Blogger Cayce said...

Thanks frootie!

Torment: thank you. :)

Eduardo: I do agree with you! I shouldn't have said the one but it was flowing so nicely with the entry so I just let it go. I'm glad that you brought it up nevertheless.

Right now, I'm in the mojo of calm, peace, ah crap I'm so horny, but back to peace, peace calm calm, i need to write it all out.

Apparently there is a lot of criticism of the book but from what I see, are people getting so uptight over something that wasn't meant to be the Final Word on relationships. It's great advice for people in the beginnings of romance (which later splutters and dies) because often enough, there's no communication going on. After a week of 'he likes me/he doesn't like me', I finally became blunt and asked what's going on. "He's not into you" is useful so that I didn't have to go through the angst within one week of wondering through the mixed signals, and just telling him, 'hey, I know what's going on and we can still be friends'. Should I be called stupid for not seeing for what it is in the beginning? Probably. I've seen this played over again with my girlfriends who obsess over "he leaned next to me! He must like me! I mean, he doesn't call or sms but he leaned next to me!". Common sense tells us for what it is but I think women often get caught up with the emotional attachment of how he was in the beginning that we don't want to give up. People need to chill and let others find whatever peace or acceptance they can.

Jordan: Thanks. :)

At 2:24 PM, Blogger Dee M said...

there's definitely more than ONE out there..and you definitely do deserve one who chases you and not play with you.


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