How to spot the Professional WhinerLesson no.1: often enough, there are warning signs that one should look out for.
The fact that she bitches about her good friends, her family, her boss, her colleagues -- laying down the blame on almost everybody but of course, herself.
This sort of 'victim' mentality really irritates me. How everyone else is the Big Bad Wolf out to get ya. How self-absorbed could one get?
Another warning sign -- when one bitches almost immediately upon meeting a stranger. I am not interested in being your best friend.
One good sure-fire way to really irritate me? Whine to me about your problems, I present options, and in response, continue to whine about how people are always trying to give you advice but they just don't understand!!!!! God, then shut up already about your problems.
Hey, I'm female -- I understand when people (mostly women) need to tell me about their problems and they're not necessarily looking for an answer. I give a listening ear when needed, but at the same time, I can spot the Professional Whiners.
Meet Charla* -- Professional Whiner by occupation, American by nationality.
I had an agonizing lunch with her the other day. When I first met her, she seemed harmless but then again I remember feeling sorry for her when she admitted that she didn't have many friends despite living here for years. I think I know why now.
As well as being a Professional Whiner, she was incredibly offensive. The term 'Ugly American' jumps into mind. She bitched about life here in Malaysia, how the locals were socially inept because they would tell her that she's fat (she's on the chubby side), how Americans were so wonderful because they would never say such a thing, how the Chinese in her neighbourhood couldn't pronounce the name of her dog correctly because well, they're Chinese see -- can't pronounce their L's!! She went on about how the locals in this town were slobs because they walk around in greasy t-shirts.
"Really?" I remarked, rapidly losing my patience. "I don't think so."
She gave me a Look and changed the subject about a mutual acquainttance and how he was going to die of AIDS (because you know, he's a dog -- how nice). And on and on.. mostly she whined about not being able to get a job here (which she desperately wants) and the sad fact is that she thinks it's because she's a foreigner. I don't think she gets it that the reason why no one wants to hire her is because she's condescending, rude, and most importantly, not that bright. Some of us may not be able to pronounce our L's but we can sure spot an idiot for what it really is.
What irritates me the most is that I had put up with her for the entire lunch and even paid for it (because she whined about her financial woes and ah well, as a friend remarked, I was doing my Christian duty). I should have smacked her down but I think mostly I was quite intrigued by how obnoxious she could get. I don't think I've ever met someone so offensive in a long time!
A good friend told me about her mother-in-law who had the misfortune to meet this lady and after two agonizing meetings, she gave the Whiner the telephone number of a local psychiatrist.
She never heard from her again.
Myself, I hope not to hear from her again but some part of me kinda does, because I want to tell her what a idiot she is. I really think it would be good for her to know.
Hey, Professional Whiners love confrontations like this -- it gives them more material (namely me) to bitch about and solidify their position as the Sad Victim.
Stand in line, lady, stand in line.
The Big Bad Wolf is here to stay.
*name changed to protect the guilty