Sunday, June 11, 2006

I rant, you listen!

Well, the wedding has come and gone. I'm so happy for the bride and groom and maybe if I was in a better frame of mind, I'd write about the wedding. But right now, I feel like ranting so much and everyone knows that blogs are an exercise in self-obsession so here it goes..

I fucking hate that Chinese bitch!!!! I swear, I want to kill her.

Ok, at best, I'd lodge a formal complaint to her boss. She had NO right to do what she did to me. Bloody bitch didn't even ask for my permission!!!! She was just supposed to put on makeup, not do drastic Chinadoll makeovers!!!! I never did like her when I first met her a couple of times. Cold, stuck-up idiotic bitch who thinks that every native girl out there wants to look like a Chinese? HELLO??? WE IN BLOODY CHINA WAT???

I never thought that part of my identity was tied up in my eyebrows but there you go..

Ok, fine so it seems like no big deal to you but it is to ME. Migod. I had such beautiful eyebrows. It was so much part of my look. I loved it that it wasn't overtweezed like 99% of the chicks back here, with their dyed teased hair and their wannabe coloured contact lenses. It was natural. It was thick. It was me.

Now I look like some townie bitch. Honestly, the bitch gave me bitch eyebrows.

A couple of well-meaning friends asked me why didn't I stop her -- "aiyah you should have stopped her wat"

Excuse me. I'm not an idiot. For one thing, she was using this weird instrument that I've never seen before -- HAVING NEVER MUTILATED MY EYEBROWS. Suddenly she was attacking my eyebrows -- at first I thought she was trimming it, which I grudgely accepted. Until it was too late to realize that she pretty much hacked off most of my eyebrows, giving me the perpetual surprised look (delusional chicks call it the arch -- YOU LOOK A SURPRISED IDIOT, PERIOD). The reason why it took so fast was that the idiot used the razor!! You're not supposed to use the razor at all!!!! I accept tweezing, and I adore eyebrow threading but a RAZOR??? Because she was a fucking lazy bitch who was adamant that every chick out there wanted to look like the idiot like she is with her stupid fucking non-existent eyebrows.

I hate that I now look like every local townie chick out there. I hate that I have this stupid STUPID permanent arch. It looks fucking stupid. Honestly.

Ok, ok, I know that they'd grow back. God please let them grow back before I leave for my Europe/Africa trip in *sob* a couple of weeks.

This is my equivalent of a bad haircut but gawd, I'd take a bad haircut, BALD even than to have my eyebrows mutilated.

Hair grows back, hair grows back.

God, I'd rather have a unibrow (*love* Frida Kahlo) than these stupid STOOPID eyebrows. Unibrows are awesome, they're strong. Now I look like sheep and I hate looking like sheep.

But oh, honestly besides all the eyebrow drama, it was a beautiful wedding. Sorry for the rant but I had to keep a happy, yet permanently surprised, look on my face for the bridal party. I didn't want my friend, and her relatives to feel bad. So I smiled a lot, and did have a good time.

Until I came home, looked in the mirror and had a really good look at my eyebrows.. and here I am ranting. I HAVE TO LET IT OUT. BLOODY BITCH. I KILLL HER.

I done.


At 12:38 AM, Blogger Eduardo said...

Damn inexcusable is what it is. I am a big fan of full eyebrows. This nonsense of tweeze until they're gone looks inhuman.

I am sure yours are fine though. Maybe its not as bad as you think. If not, I am quite sure that they will grow back in time. If not, I know that your beautiful smile and charming wit will fully compensate this minor detraction.

But... you should kill her... soon.

At 10:34 AM, Blogger Cayce said...

*sniff*, thanks for the support eduardo.

It is as bad as I think -- for one thing, when they redid my makeup for the dinner, the woman (thankfully not the Eyebrow Nazi), used an eyebrow filler.



I was devastated.

I have drag-queen eyebrows.


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